What a smart little backhander

I AM frankly amazed by the recent developments concerning Sudbury Tourist Information Centre and our beloved library. Firstly we hear, through the media (naturally), that the TIC is to be moved from its current location and into the library.

Apparently the staff are all thoroughly delighted by this proposal and were quoted as being “grateful” to the town council. As far as I am aware, the TIC staff were only informed of the move after someone leaked the information (whoops! We’d better have a meeting then).

As for the staff in the library - well nobody seems quite sure exactly which one of them told the town council they were grateful - perhaps they were misheard, or misquoted.

One concern I heard recently was that of parking - groan, yawn, yes indeed an old chestnut but one which refuses to lay down and die.

At present the TIC staff are able to park at the town hall, a perk which will disappear when they are shifted to the library. Never fear though, our illustrious councillors will, I am told, retain their free parking at the town hall while hard working staff have to roam the car parks of Sudbury looking for a space and paying for the privilege.

The other bit of smart political spin concerns staffing. The library staff were (I am sure) thoroughly thrilled with the smart little backhander they were dealt in the local press recently when it was stated that they would be employed more “efficiently”.

The implications of this statement were not lost on anyone with connections to the TIC or library and the idea that anyone working in either environment is somehow not very efficient or simply not working hard enough was, to say the least, insulting.

Not to worry though, apparently our local taxes will not be wasted on underworked shirkers, there are changes afoot and all staff involved will be retrained, multi-skilled, dual-purposed and fitted with extra attachments so that they can be thoroughly mediocre in every aspect of any job the town council decides it can do.

So your lovely TIC staff will be drowning in books and the librarians will be running around looking for bus timetables and checking out B&B facilities for tourists.

All very well but then throw in all the other things the council would like to put into the library building - but we’re probably not supposed to talk about that.

Then there was the nice little throwaway comment about staff. There may not be any actual redundancies planned (at the moment) but casual staff are a complete waste of money apparently.

Why use a trained casual librarian when you can drag a tourist information clerk out of his or her comfort zone and drop them into the role of librarian at a moment’s notice?

So half a dozen people will, in fact, be out of a job but because they have no set contracted hours they cannot officially be labelled as redundant - well that’s a relief.

The talents of our inglorious town councillors are surely wasted in a rural backwater like Sudbury; they should hotfoot it to the Palace of Westminster and see if they can ingratiate themselves with the scoundrels who roam those draughty corridors of power. It seems their vocation for subterfuge and misleading the public is misplaced in the friendly town of Sudbury.

Begone the lot of you! Then at least someone who does a real job can have somewhere to park.

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