Weekend Thought by Brian Stenner

There was once a person who could not make up his mind. He did not know which way to vote. Then he died.

To his great surprise, he was transported into the hereafter where he was greeted by St Peter.

He was asked whether he wanted to spend eternity in heaven or hell.

He replied: “Well, I suppose I would rather be in heaven than in hell.”

Peter suggested he should experience both so that he could, at last, make up his mind.

He was directed to a lift which transported him, at breakneck speed, down 20,000 floors. The doors opened and a sign announced that he had arrived in hell.

He was greeted by many of his long-lost friends who took him to a lush golf course where he played a faultless round before being plied with the best food and wine that he had ever tasted.

Then a voice called him away and instructed him to return to the lift where he was whisked 40,000 floors up to heaven.

There, the scenery was breathtaking, the people were pleasant and everyone seemed to know each other. But the light hurt his eyes and there was no shade.

Peter summoned him to return to his entry point and he was asked again where he would like to spend eternity. The man thought and then decided. “Although heaven is very nice,” he said. “I think I would be happier in hell”.

No sooner had he uttered the words, than he found himself back in hell, but instead of the plush golf course, there was a wilderness and his friends were all in rags hurrying around picking up litter.

When he asked what had happened, he was told: “When you were here last, we were campaigning. Now you have voted, the campaign is over. So pick up that sack and start picking litter.”