After many years of doing a job in the church and which God had undoubtedly blessed, it was brought to a halt.
The gifting we all shared had not left us, neither had any of us fallen out with anyone but a new leadership had other priorities.
This was very bewildering. I was so sure my ‘gift’ had come from God; there was no other source. So, what was it all about?
I knew change as a sign of life, but I was confused. I took a week’s holiday and accomplished all my chores early, determined to read my Bible until I found an answer.
God kept me waiting (or rather he waited until I was in the right frame of mind to really understand) – and on the Friday, I read Jeremiah 15:19. “If you repent, I will restore...”
Great, “restoration” – just what I’m looking for.
Knowing the danger of picking out only what I wanted to hear, I read it all over and over. “If you repent, I will restore you to serve me ...”
Of course, when I really thought about it, I did have much – not as much as others, you understand – but yes, much I was not proud of.
Why am I telling you about my struggles to understand this setback? Because God did ‘restore me to serve him’, in many exciting and differing ways and over many years.
Above all though, he taught me to be honest with him and myself. Owning up is a great place to start, in any relationship, in praying, living, loving, everything.
God longs for us to be truthful – we can fool ourselves, even others, but never and no way can we fool God.